Our Little Secret, That’s Not Really a Secret Anymore…

Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Our Little Secret, That’s Not Really a Secret Anymore…

We’re really helpful people at ROCKETT HOME RENTALS so in your interests we’ve compiled a comprehensive, tongue-firmly-in-cheek, list of 10 reasons why you would never, ever want to buy a property in the absolutely brilliant, beautiful, progressive, affordable part of the country that is Stoke-on-Trent and North Staffordshire.

 

1. Isn’t it in the middle of nowhere?

Only those who aren’t too hot on reading maps will think that Stoke-on-Trent and North Staffordshire isn’t slap bang in the heart of the country, and also think it doesn’t have a number of other towns and cities less than an hour’s drive away. This area is not called the gateway to the north or the gateway to the south, but that’s probably exactly what it is. But please keep that to yourself!

 

2. …and that means if you do happen to find this area, you’ll never escape the place!

(*laughs*)

Er, that’s right, as described above, we really are stuck in the middle of nowhere (*rolls eyes*). So, if people tell you that it sits on the M6, and the M1 is only half an hour away by car (connecting you to any number of parts of the country), then they are, er, probably lying. And there is definitely not a series of major ‘A’ roads in and around the area, ensuring that you are easily connectable to any number of towns and cities, or making commuting pretty straightforward.

Do people know that Stoke-on-Trent and North Staffordshire have Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester, and East Midlands airports all under an hour away? Please keep that quiet, and keep folk believing that you’re pretty much stuck here: it’s not really very, very simple to go on holiday or work abroad if you live in North Staffordshire!

Oh, and a central railway station in Stoke-on-Trent that gets you to Birmingham in 48 minutes, Manchester in 39 minutes, and London Euston in just 91 minutes? As if!

So in conclusion, Stoke-on-Trent and the surrounding area really aren’t located at the heart of the country, and don’t make unbelievable connectivity common sense by being at the centre of the north-south/east-west road and rail corridors. Got that?

 

3. No wonder you’ve told me how easy it is to get away from your area: I bet it’s a grim industrial wasteland?

Yes, it really is. It doesn’t have any number of superb parks, walkways, canals, play areas, etc. etc. within the city itself, at all!

No, whoever has told you that is simply misleading you, or something. For example, avoid the likes of Trentham Gardens, as I promise that you really won’t find the most stunning of Italian Gardens, amazing walks, superb scenery, brilliant kids play area, and much-loved shopping areas. So, nothing to get excited about in the ST4 area, then.

 

 

 

And you really can forget about the city being surrounded by areas of outstanding natural beauty such as The Roaches, The Peak District, Biddulph Grange Garden, Barlaston Downs, Cannock Chase, Shugborough, Rudyard Lake, Tittesworth Reservoir, Dimmingsdale…….the list really doesn’t go on and on. It does? Oh.

So, please discount anyone’s opinion who says that if you drive fifteen minutes out of Stoke-on-Trent you are in some of the most visually stunning countryside in the UK – we really don’t know why they have to peddle such untruths!

 

 

 

 

4. Thank the good lord other cities are nearby, I bet there’s no culture within Stoke-on-Trent, is there?

You’re spot on.

You must have misread somewhere that Stoke-on-Trent has put in a bid for the 2021 UK City of Culture award. And in no way would Stoke and the surrounding area ever be considered ‘cultural’, because it doesn’t have a range of amazing theatres or venues such as the Regent Theatre, Victoria Hall, Mitchell Arts Centre - all in the city centre; The New Vic Theatre (in the round) in Newcastle-Under-Lyme; Stoke Reparatory and Kings Hall, both in Stoke town centre… I could go on, but you know we’re pathological liars by know, don’t you?

It also definitely doesn’t have a superb museum slap bang in the city centre, nor any numbers of buzzy galleries, both within the six towns and beyond. And don’t get me started on pottery museums…

 

 

 

 

5. Yes, because we all know the pottery industry has died, don’t we?

Again, 100% correct. It was always a myth that Stoke-on-Trent was and still is the World Capital of Ceramics, and heaven knows why they had the nerve to call the city, The Potteries; the absolute cheek of it!

And it’s a complete fabrication that there has been a huge resurgence in the production in, and popularity of, the pottery industry in the, er... Potteries.

I also reckon that ‘The Great Pottery Throwdown’ programme is filmed somewhere else, as I’ve heard they don’t make pottery there anymore? And it’s pure hearsay that the likes of Emma Bridgewater, Moorcroft, Burleigh, and

 

 

 

Steelite are amongst those leading a huge ceramic renaissance within the area. Some say the pottery industry never ever died in this part of the world, but they would say that, wouldn’t they?

And as for Wedgwood – there’s really no need to visit their stunning headquarters and interactive visitor centre in picturesque Barlaston. I mean, it’s not as though Josiah Wedgwood started and left one of the greatest industrial legacies of all time in this country, and thousands flock to this iconic pottery company, is it?

And don’t get me started on those folk who ‘turnover’ their cups, saucers and plates to check if the pottery they are holding is from Stoke-on-Trent – they say it’s an affectionate and knowledgeable sign that the ware is of the utmost quality and craftsmanship, showing generations of skilled work. There must be a more plausible explanation that that surely? Perhaps they’ve dropped some loose change under that saucer? Or there must be some chewing gum attached to the bottom of that plate?

 

 

 

 

6. The nightlife… what nightlife?

Well you definitely haven’t read about the City of Culture bid in point four, so there’s no need to tell you (again) about the plethora of museums, and galleries in that section, too.

So, it’s absolutely a waste of time to tell you about the numerous theatre and musical events around the city on a weekly basis. I mean, when you read the other nine points in this article is it any wonder that world class theatre and musical events take place regularly within the city – some of them they even have the audacity not to charge any money to watch them, too! So they surely can’t be any good? Can they?

The city of Stoke-on-Trent really doesn’t have the reputation for being one of the UK’s clubbing capitals over the last six decades, and the likes of The Golden Torch, Shelleys, and Golden were never ground-breaking club nights that saw thousands from around the country and beyond flock to the ST postcode. No siree.

And you won’t find great restaurants and cafes, hip bars, cosy country pubs, casinos, craft ale pop-ups, and a new generation of late night venues, either. Yup, it’s an absolute ghost town this area at night, especially at weekends.

 

7. Ok, so there’s loads to do at night: what about in the day, and what about sport and recreation?

Discount all those areas of outstanding beauty you’ll be living amongst, because families and kids really don’t, er, love spending quality time doing fun things in the great outdoors, do they?

And you’re really left with a huge scarcity of entertainment options if you don’t like the above.

I mean, who would want to go to the likes of Alton Towers and Splash Landings, Drayton Manor Park, Waterworld, Flip Out, Trentham Monkey Forest, Tutbury and Mow Cop castles, Izaak Walton Cottage, Foxfield Railway, Blackbrook Zoological Park, Rudyard Lake Steam Railway, Kilnworx, Aerial Extreme, or the several cinema complexes including a new IMAX to be built in Hanley soon…etc. etc.

As for sport, thankfully Stoke-on-Trent hasn’t ever been awarded the European City of Sport title! What? It has? Last year? Oh.

Ok then, you definitely won’t find Premier League and Division One football clubs within Stoke-on-Trent, and you will definitely struggle to find hundreds of non-league and grass roots football clubs that cater for all ages and abilities within the city and surrounding areas, too.

As for other sports: you name it, and this area possibly won’t have it! Will it? What, there are any number of opportunities to play or watch literally dozens of other sports? And sportspeople from this very area won a number of medals at the last Olympics and Paralympics? Are you sure about that?

Right then, I won’t ask about the endless numbers of gyms, leisure centres, swimming pools, and fitness centres then.

But I bet there aren’t two ski centres and a racecourse? Er, pardon…

 

8. Your kids will need to go elsewhere for Uni and further education…….and don’t get me started on to job opportunities!

Yes, as it’s not like there are two excellent and hugely successful universities (Keele and Staffordshire) right on your doorstep if you happen to live in this area. Add on a dozen or so colleges in and around the ST postcode, and you can see why this area really won’t be an option for further education – unless you know your stuff, of course.

And there are no jobs in this area. No, not one. Sorry. That’s because of all the other reasons in this article – I mean, who would want to live and work in such a place?

Take the likes of bet365 – it’s not like they are the possibly the biggest online gaming company in the world and employ thousands of people at their base at Festival Park. And as you will probably not have read above; it’s not as though the city’s pottery heritage is making a resurgence, is it?

And you can forget all the SMEs and creative businesses that are sprouting all over the area too, and whilst you’re at it don’t give a second thought asking yourself just why some huge companies are either in, or are moving, to this area. And you may have heard about the Ceramic Valley Enterprise Zone that is about to make huge waves within Stoke-on-Trent. But that too is simply a rumour, folks!

 

9. I bet the properties around there aren’t up to much?

It depends on what you want, really, and it depends on what kind of lifestyle you want, too.

Because if it’s up to me, I reckon most people really don’t want a great range of affordable housing in a fast-developing, central part of the country. One with superb transport links, with amazing countryside on its doorstep, and one that’s renowned for its industrial heritage and creativity. And one which affords you a brilliant lifestyle for you and your family, too?

Think of a property, and you’ll definitely NOT find it in this area. From city centre living to beautiful town houses, and from superb family new-builds to country estates, just why would you want to move to and live in an area which has the perfect house for you, and one that you can actually afford?

And if you are interested in property in this area, do not under any circumstances go to Rockett Home Rentals – especially if you really want to avoid dealing with outstanding, experienced, and personable professionals who will give you a truly bespoke, personal service.

And as for the neighbours…don’t get me started! I really don’t know why many non-Stoke-on-Trent and Staffordshire people live in this area, I really don’t. And then they have the cheek to tell all and sundry just how brilliantly friendly, warm, and loyal the local people are. I mean, take actor (and son of South Wales) Christian Patterson, who regularly treads the boards at the Regent Theatre. Just why did the bloke recently say…

“The people of Stoke and this area are so warm and welcoming. For example, I was in a car park the other day and the machine ‘ate’ my money. A total stranger came up and gave me some change as I hadn’t got any. That doesn’t happen elsewhere. The city has great characters, great people and great traditions. I love the place.”?

….and just why does Patterson actually love living in a house this area when he works here, rather than staying in another area, or even in a hotel? Is he bonkers? Or does he see himself as an adopted Stokie as it’s simply a great place to live, work, and socialise?

 

10. Right that’s it! We’re absolutely fed up of this now…….Ah, one more thing, I bet your beloved Stoke-on-Trent and North Staffordshire doesn’t have a beach, does it??!??!

Guilty as charged, m’lord.